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We just didn't do it anymore. I guessed Paddy wasn't a guy to be doing without and must be having an affair. A year later I found out he was.It was with someone ten years younger than I was who worked part time in the yard and I found she had now started occasionally crewing for him, up from the Med. (Oh yes?) It went on for a while, with rows and accusations of who's fault it all was and then he suddenly upped, left and went to live with her. We split almost exactly eight years to the day from being married in Essex.Our divorce was bad, lots of insults and accusations then flew around both ways. I felt a pervert over some of the things he said to me and threatened to bring up. I didn't even fight for half the boatyard but he was fair with the house I suppose, he let me keep it and I gave in about the yard. I just felt bitter and I suppose jealous of her.I totally went off sex all together for about two years, even solo sex, I was just non-sexual, no dates, no sexy thoughts,. I liked my new, youthful body. I loved my new parents. And most of all I loved Alana. I'd told my father that she was my soul mate. I'd told him the truth. As Aaron MacDonald there was no Alana. As John Windom there was no Alana. As Debra Oakman there was no Alana. If Hector moved me again, I'd die. I wouldn't want to live without my Alana at my side.And my to-do list had not gotten any shorter. Each time I reached one milestone, I created another. I wanted to marry Alana. I'd create an Alana Wedding series from that event. And more than anything, I wanted to paint the Miracle of New Life and Madonna and Child series.I'd loved Piper. I still loved her. Whatever body I occupied, I'd love her. I'd love her until I died. In my mind, she was my daughter. But I would also love the daughter Alana and I would have. I'd love her as much as I loved Piper. And a little boy. I'd love my son with Alana, too. Just as much. Just as much.I need five more years minimum, Hector. Do you hear.
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